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The moral is clear. If you end up in a situation like the one described in A Dilemma (previous page) you must make your concerns clear very early on in the relationship. Putting it off will only make matters worse. Right from the start, say you have a problem as soon as you discover he hasn’t been circumcised. Ask him if he is prepared to have it done for your sake. If he agrees, you know that he really must love you. This is a very good sign and bodes well for your future together. Also, if you do go on to have a child and it’s a boy, he is going to want his son circumcised after he discovers how much nicer his circumcised penis is. That’s one more tricky problem solved.
If he doesn’t agree to be circumcised, given how important it is for your sex life together, then maybe you should seriously consider how committed to the relationship he really is. Perhaps better to get out while the going is good and spare both of you a lot of unnecessary pain and heartache.
In my experience, issues like this will not go away or solve themselves. If it’s really important for you as a woman for your man to be circumcised and possibly any children you may have together, just putting up with the situation and hoping you’ll get used to it, is not going to work. Your resentment will likely continue to fester, eating you up inside. If your partner refuses to let you have your son circumcised then this will make you feel very angry. This pent up anger is likely to bring the relationship to a sorry end.
Of course the situation could be the reverse. Maybe you believe that you can only enjoy sex if your man is intact. When you discover he has been circumcised, you decide it’s never going to work. Obviously, your man can’t be uncircumcised, even if he wanted to. You are stuck with the situation. However, my advice would be to give it a go, that is unless you are absolutely 100% certain that your man has to have a foreskin. In my personal experience only about 10% of woman believe that their man must be uncut to enjoy sex. This is often born more out of theory, that it simply must be better, rather than confirmed by actual practical experience.
My second wife who was Swedish fell into this category. As most woman in Sweden are brought up to believe, she was 100% against circumcision and was convinced circumcision forever ruined one’s sex life. She was very sorry for me when she discovered that I had been done. However, after a few weeks of having sex together she completely changed her mind, realising that what she had been brought up to believe, was totally untrue. In fact the complete opposite was the case, she had never enjoyed sex so much in her life before. So, persevere, if only for a short while!
You may of course be one of the woman who really doesn’t care whether their man is circumcised or not. You are probably very lucky as you won’t ever have any of the above problems. However, you will still have to decide whether to have any possible children circumcised, unless you just leave it to your partner. In my experience, the majority of woman do eventually form a distinct preference, one way or the other, and will find sex generally better, with which ever they like best.