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So you think that you are perfectly happy with your foreskin, and have no wish to be circumcised?
When you first start having sex, chances are your partner won’t be very experienced and has little or no knowledge of circumcision. However, as time goes by, and they sleep with both circumcised and uncircumcised men, most women form a preference. Not surprisingly, most women end up with a preference for circumcised men. Indeed, many of these women eventually decide that they won’t sleep with a man anymore, unless he is circumcised.
So, if you aren’t circumcised, initially you won’t have a problem. However, as time moves on, you are likely to find it harder and harder to find woman who are prepared to put up with your foreskin.
A typical scenario is that eventually you meet the girl of your dreams. You both think each of you are perfect for each other and you fall madly in love. All her previous lovers were circumcised and she was used to having terrific sex. The time comes for your first sexual encounter, but she is shocked when she discovers that you haven’t been circumcised. She doesn’t say anything, but she finds your penis very off putting with its ugly, wrinkly covering of skin. She hates the feel of it, but even worse, is the smell of smegma and stale urine. So she grits her teeth and tries to ignore it. At best, she finds sex second rate and has to fake her orgasm. What is she to do? She dare not mention the problem for fear of upsetting him and wrecking the relationship.
She tells herself that she will get used to it, just put up with it for a bit. In the back of her mind, she tells herself that once they are married and she has bagged him, she will bring the matter up. Surely he loves her enough, that he will get himself circumcised for her sake. They eventually get married, but she just can’t bring herself to bring the matter up, dreading the outcome, she always puts it off till tomorrow. She never does get used to his foreskin, quite the opposite in fact. As every day goes by she dreads sex more and more. The excuses come ever more regularly. She constantly looks back to the wonderful sex she had with her previous circumcised lovers. She is in despair, what on earth can she do?
Despite the very limited sex, she falls pregnant, It’s a boy. Once he is born, she casually mentions she needs to make an appointment for him to have his circumcision. She had always just assumed that if they had a boy he would be circumcised. After all, it’s what any responsible parent would want for their child. To not have her son done would be unthinkable. They had never discussed circumcision together. She just assumed it was a no brainer, while he would never even think of having his son done, it was out of the question.
After all, he was completely unaware that she hated his foreskin. She had never mentioned it to him. A terrible row breaks out and he totally forbids her to make the appointment for their son’s circumcision. In the heat of the moment she tells him she finds his penis revolting and sex to be at best, second rate. He is mortified and hurt beyond belief, he knew nothing of this.
The outlook is bleak to say the least, with divorce a likely prospect. This story is not at all uncommon. In fact it happened to friends of mine. You can read the whole story and its outcome in the “Stories” section.
This disastrous situation could obviously have been avoided if the man had been circumcised. If you aren’t circumcised but are quite happy with your foreskin, then this scenario could happen to you. Just because you are happy at the moment does not mean that that will always be so. You could think of having your circumcision done as an insurance policy. Given that nine out of ten woman prefer a circumcised man, when you do meet the girl of your dreams, it’s almost a certainty that she will expect you to be circumcised.
The first time you have sex, if you aren’t circumcised, you really should make sure that your partner is happy with your foreskin. However, be warned, she may still say she is fine with it, just so as not to upset you. A good clue as to whether she is telling you the truth, is to ask her if she would have any child of her’s circumcised. If she answers “definitely not” then she is very likely telling you the truth. If on the other hand she says “she considers it essential to have her son circumcised” then she is almost certainly not telling you the truth. The reason is that most woman’s own sexual preferences are what they would want for their own child.
It is vital to discuss early on in the relationship, if you will have any possible future children circumcised. If you can’t reach agreement now, you had better either never have children or call the relationship off. Too many couples never discuss this important aspect until after their baby boy is born. Around thirty percent of couples then find they can’t reach agreement. The consequences can be very serious.
The parent who doesn’t want their child circumcised always “wins” since no doctor will circumcise a child unless both the parents are in agreement. The parent who wanted their son done is likely to be very upset and never get over letting their child down. The hurt is likely to fester like an open wound and lead to the eventual breakup of the relationship.