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11 x FAQs
 - FAQ # 11

As a mum I always wanted my son to be circumcised.  Unfortunately, his dad wasn’t circumcised himself and refused to allow me to have our son’s foreskin removed.  We have since split up and my new man (who is circumcised) thinks that now I should have my son done.  My son is six years old - is it fair to put him through this at his age?

If you have always wanted your son circumcised and you were prevented from doing what you believed was best for him, it is unlikely you will ever get over the anger and resentment that you constantly feel until your wishes are carried out.

Do take this opportunity to make amends and free yourself at last from your guilt feelings. Probably your new man can sense your frustration at being prevented from doing the best for your son in the past.  Those days are over now and you can finally give your son the penis you always wanted for him.  So yes, go ahead and make the necessary arrangements.

Whilst it’s true that the ideal time to have your son circumcised is as a baby, it’s still no big deal at the age of six.  Much, much better to have him done at six years of age than not at all. It’s still a simple, safe procedure, that will only take a few minutes.  For the sake of those few minutes, he will enjoy a whole lifetime of benefits.

It is vital that you prepare him in advance for what is about to happen to him.  I think it’s best not to tell him very far in advance.  That way he doesn’t have time to worry about it.  The worrying is much worse than the actual procedure.

You need to explain to him in simple terms why he needs to have it done and what is going to happen to him.  Stress that it won’t hurt and there is nothing for him to worry about.  It’s alright to warn him that it will be a bit sore once the pain relief has worn off.  If he expects it to be a bit sore then he will probably be pleasantly surprised it was not as bad as he thought.

He is likely to have seen friends of his who are circumcised, so chances are he will know what his new penis is going to look like.  If not, show him some drawings or photos so that it won’t come as a shock (you can find some in Advice for Kids, link below).  It is most important to make him realise that it will feel strange at first, but not to worry as he will gradually get used to it and eventually much prefer it.

If his foreskin has never been retracted before, then immediately after his circumcision his glans will be red and very sensitive for a few days. If this is the case it is advisable to warn him of this as otherwise he may go into a panic that it will always be like this from now on and it will never recover.  Make sure he understands this, so he does not worry about it.  Constantly reassure him that it will be absolutely fine.

It’s also best if he avoids showering until the sensitivity of his glans has reduced a bit, as droplets of water from the shower can be almost painful just after the procedure, and again he may panic.

Your son
trusts and
relies on
you to
the right
(Don’t let him down!)
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